Eleven Science Three// {XIA3}

May 31st. So, today's the last day of school, the last day of studying and staying in the same room with my classmates. No, it's not holiday. Well not yet, since finals are in the upcoming Monday, but we have gone through 100ish tests this whole semester. Doing zillions of equations, calculating millions of numbers, remembering tons of formula, mixing liters of chemical liquids, making dozens of samples, and doing lots of homework. There's no exaggeration, because yes, we've done 100ish test this semester. I'm glad it's over. I really am.

Words said that I'm in the wrong major, whereas I should've taken social major instead- those words aren't new to my hearings. I've heard them pretty much. Yet I somehow think so. From my IQ test, it's said that my major should be social. Just social, no science as the second option. It tells me just social. I'm not the typical science student also. The major that I prolly take later in university shows me no science. During the freshman years, my science score weren't as high as my social subjects are. And in the first quarters of sophomore year, I was pretty much in a mental breakdown. My scores were at the lowest point I have ever had in my entire 11 years of studying. Seriously. In my first semester, I only pass 1 out of 4 Math1. First semester was so freaking hard that I kept on failing, and it's not that I didn't study enough. It was such a rocky road. Harsh. The thought of I'm in the wrong major keeps on haunting me, yet I know there's no turning back. I just gotta keep on going. I never know whether I'm in the right major, but in the verge of my sophomore year, I come to a realization that I actually learn a lot from being a science student. Not that I've known more formulas nor equation. I learn a lot about hard work.

My class.. At the first glance, I didn't like my class. Not all, to be honest. None of my classmates from year 10 gets into the same class with me. And it was such a shock. 14 of us, none of us is in the same class with me. I was like.. stranded. I only know three people. 3.  And the rest, I barely know them. We barely talk. My class was a suicide. But as times goes by, I pretty much can accept everything. The quirkiness, the weirdness, and stuffs. First quarters, I kept on complaining why everything was so wrong and stuffs but.. the last days of school, I know now that getting into 11A3 wasn't a mistake. I get to know people whom I never talk to before. Become close with people whom I don't even know his/her name before ( I have serious issue with remembering people's name, seriously.). I learn to be more.. friendly I guess. You know, in the end we're all classmates, we're all fighting together. And I'm pretty much sure that I'll miss studying with 11A3. It was such a memorable year. Memorable class, that I've never ever thought of that it'd be.

When things were so right..

It was 11 in the midnight when I was on my way home from a friend's 17th birthday dinner when my BlackBerry vibrated. I opened, and it was a BBM from a close friend of mine. Asking whether my eyes are still wide open or not. I was a bit worried, thinking what's wrong with her that she messaged me that late, it isn't our thing BBM-ing each other everyday, we BBM when we need to talk about something. And the fact that she just gotten a fight with her boyfriend the day before worried me more. I told her I'm still awake and what's up, then she replied, "Nothing. I'm just feeling miserable. I miss the past."

Then we had such a long chat, until this very second this post is typed.  We had this long chat, talking how we miss the past, how the friendship among us and the rest of us went, how both of us missed everything. yes, everything. There's too much to be missed. We talked about the old silly time of Junior High School. There was no weigh on our shoulder, no burdens, no worries and no tears. The only reason we cried was because we were laughing so hard that we cried. Comparing the past to what we have know, we came up to a conclusion that life's getting harder.

As time goes by, more people coming, our friendship sorta.. fade. There's a distance among us and.. I don't know. I just miss everyone I see everyday at school, how I miss the way we used to be. Reminiscing kills the hell out of me, since there's too much to be missed and how much I miss them is irrational. The fact that a friend of us is going abroad in 2 months time, I don't know, it's like a piece of me is taken away. No, I'm not being whiny but as every words is typed, a tear is falling. I seriously meant what I wrote down here, and I'm being that emotional. None of us ever imagined that this is happening. I mean, there's no picture of him, or one of us leaving before we graduate. I've never wanted any of us growing apart, I mean it.

I know we all have our own problems, more of us is getting a boyfriend or a girlfriend, we split major, gotten into different classes, gotten into different circle of friends in class, maybe less or more, each of us has changed. I know growing up means accepting changes, I know growing up means staying strong, I know growing up means seeing everyone leaves, I know growing up means standing on your own feet. But the past, my friends, and everything.. Can I just have a day, like the old days?

I swear, I don't care how fugly I am in this picture. I just miss being that nonsense.

Hello.

Hello. Yes, hello. It has been a while since I last posted. Crap. Okay.

• So, few things. I was being lucky last Friday night that I won a Fuji Instax 7s for free and with zero effort. And because I'm one penniless bitch, I'm in the process of persuading Daddy to buy me the films. Yeay me.
• I'm wondering why I can't stop eating because I'm such a pig. I keep on eating foods like there's no tomorrow.
• Finals are in the next two week and I can't wait to go to year 12. Oh I hope I pass. I'm sort of afraid of not passing since Math is getting harder and I'm no friend of it.
• I'm going to see Zayn Malik this summer. Teehee, I know. No, I'm not gonna see him literally but I'll breathe the same air with him.
• I am broke. I have no money. I don't know where all my money go. I need more money. Money, rain over me because this stupid bitch needs more money.

Bye!