500 days of you.

Thankyou for bearing with me and all my irrational grants.
We all know that sometimes I wish for something stupid and out of mind, but you always have an end to deal with it! I'm just this one girl with stupid crazy ideas going on in my mind :)

Thankyou for staying with me throughout this five-hundred days.
I can guarantee you that staying with me that long is something rather... miraculous, since I'm not the kind of girl every guy can deal with. I can sometimes be very vocal, ignoring what's around. Or I can sometimes be so reserved that I refuse to tell you what I feel.

Thankyou for always being there, waking up, and staying with me throughout the midnight whenever I have ultimate nightmare.
I sometimes have problem sleeping, especially when it's way past my bedtime.. which is at 9. When the clock strikes 11, I can't even close my eyes. You're always there waiting for me till I fell asleep, eventhough you're sometimes sleepy like hell. 

Thankyou for always telling me to study, even though I never feel like studying.
Actually.. I'm quite diligent by nature. But there are times when I am just so tired of studying that I refuse to study. But you're always there, saying like, "Ayo belajar jangan males2," and other stuffs. When it comes to studying at 4 am, you've always been my alarm clock! And you'll make sure whether I'm already wide awake, or still half awake.

Thankyou for being the one who seems to have lots of creative ideas to surprise me, you know how much I love surprises.
You truly know that something is sweet when it's least expected. My 18th birthday surprise last January that you succeed on surprising me. Your very sincere White Day gifts, a box filled with my favourite. From Choki-choki to Ferrero!

Thankyou for always giving in when it comes to meal, all my choices!
You'll always ask me what I want to eat, not what you want to eat - just because you know I'm one picky eater. Seriously. All this freaking 500 days, I guess I never really go with your opinion. As far as I remember, few days ago was the first time. Accompanying you to eat your favourite Nasi Campur Babi which I don't like. And the rest, it was all my choice!

Thankyou for helping me when it comes to cleaning spoon and fork, or chopsticks.
HAHAHA. I am sometimes super ignorant that you ended up cleaning the spoon and fork for me! Weehee!

Thankyou for dealing with my fear towards balloons, or my slightly OCD.
You never took me to places full with balloons, you have tried different kinds of effort just to help me get over it. You make sure, I feel safe and clean, which matter a lot to me. You never complain about my OCD, or my fear, or my other things.

Thankyou for getting me back on my feet when I'm down.
I can always count on you, and that's for sure. No matter what I'm dealing with, you're just there to listen to my 'sometimes' stupid rants about thing. You always tell me that.. there's always a bright side.

Thankyou for praying for me whenever I overslept.
It's good to have someone who really actually care for you, and don't mind to send out prayers for you just because you fell asleep. I fell asleep easily and I find that quite often, so I missed my night prayers. And there you go, praying for me.

Thankyou for teaching me ICTs all this whole 2 years.
Without you, I'll definitely fail everything!
You are a real genius. I wonder how I will survive that website project, or the PHP daily tests, or the Microsoft Excel thing without you. The least thing I can do is operate high technologies. I'm a dumb. And you bear with me and all my complains about how I never get through the point, or when I still don't understand.

Thankyou for all your support, you know it best!
I am the very kind of person who gets down easily. My heart and feeling, they're so fragile. During harsh weeks, I often find myself crying too much just because the problems I'm dealing with felt so overwhelming. And there you go, puk-puk me and comfort me. Just to make me feel better.

Thankyou for reminding me to forever love my mama papa. There's no love greater than mama papa's love, you say.
And.. to be honest I'm quite a rebel, not only with my parents but with every situation. I'm a hardheaded one, that I stand for what I think is right. But sometimes, what's right to me isn't what's right to everyone else, and even to my parents and that's why I have gotten into fights with them, which I really don't want to. And somehow, you showed me that though parents may not really understand your feeling 100%, there's no greater love.

Thankyou for reminding me how to sit properly, to never shout out loud like a kiddo anymore.
You're so like a reminder, or a manner class tutor. HAHAHA. You always told me that.. it's time to grow up and show somehow the well-mannered you.

Thankyou for helping me dealing with my low self-esteem issues, for encouraging me and you always mention what's good in me, for like twice or more a week - just to make me feel better.
Believe it or not.. I'm not best at boosting my confidence. I have low esteem issues since I don't recall when but, this shit is kind of serious. You always tell me that everything has two sides, and it's okay to have flaws, since no one is flawless. But what's wrong is focusing on the bad side, not on the good side. I believe that this is rather hard for you dealing with this low-esteem me. I mean, it seems like every good things you told me evaporates when the low esteem issues strike. But.. thanks for trying over and over again.

Thankyou for reminding me to eat, because I have gastritis which forces me to eat.
I am reluctant that somehow I ignored every meal just because I have more important things to do than eat, and just because I'm easily distracted. You never get bored on reminding me to get something to eat, or to even force me to eat in times I don't really wanted to. And then.. just because you know I messed my week by not eating, you delivers me foods which I crave the most.

Thankyou for always telling me that I don't need a diet.
I have concern about my weight, just because I'm somehow 2 kgs overweight in my opinion. But there you go reminding me about the fact that I don't need to lose even a bit of my weight, to enjoy my last bits of time in Indo eating everything I wanted to, and telling me that I'm good already.


Thankyou for your time you spent on me, doing nonsense stuffs.
I know that I'm somehow the definition of weird that I love museums, or other stuffs some girls find it boring.  But eventhough I know we're not much alike, you've agreed to go with me to museums. I have a very erratic to do list, that you know and somehow find weird, but you're willing to do it with me!

Thankyou that you're willing to always fulfil my cravings!
This is best. You know I'm the girl with hundred thousands of cravings, varying as each day goes by. And thankyou for dealing with that and somehow, fulfilling it.


You perhaps may not be the guy who loaded his girl with flowers or gifts. But sometimes, girls need someone who give them more than flowers or gifts. Flowers will withers and gifts can be traded, but memories and everything can't wither, and can't be traded. But I still love flowers and gifts tho :3

Happy 500th days. Maybe it wasn't the best at sometimes but, I truly cherished every thing. We may started off as ruins, fighting over little stuffs but I believe, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger :)

Kitchen mayhem

Had my class yearbook photoshoot yesterday at Rancamaya Golf Estate, somewhere in Bogor.

High school is ending. Soon.

to be honest with you..

I am tired, i am sick of all this stupid fights, i am sick of feeling bad about myself, i am sick of looking bad, i am tired of never getting things right, i have had enough fight, i have had everything enough, i am tired of always being wrong in your eyes, i am tired of trying, i am tired of always looking okay, i am tired of fake smiles, i am tired of saying okay to what's not okay to me, i am tired of everything.

i am not fine. totally not.


andaikan saja ngomongin semua ini ke kamu semudah itu.