Happy birthday, little bitch.

My birthday bash. My gathering with my guys. My camp. My everything.
Tons have been going on and somehow I just can't find the right time to blog it out. I don't know maybe I'm bored with blogging or what.

Skip the crap, better sort it out one by one.



So, my birthday bash. Pics are all still in my friend's camera. I only have one picture and I looked extremely undeniably fugly there. Okay, was so fugly because I was 'watered' with sodas. RGB Fanta. Yes, three colours and liters of water. You know they're so nice. Had Martabak for my birthday cake with 16 candles. I smokin love my bitches and dudes :)

What's next? Oh my gathering.





It has been a freakin while since we all had gathering so we decided to have one. Though not all is going but still better than nothing right? Went ice skating at Mall Taman Anggrek , Nanny's Pavilion at Central Park , then Late Night Shopping at Mall Kelapa Gading. I went home with swollen feet and I barely could feel myself. Didn't take pictures too much. Were too busy having fun!

About the camp, it was fun. I haven't got the pictures. But yes it was truly fun yet tiring. Will have pictures updated soon!

I actually hate year changing

Year changing is actually just a 'changing'. But it's like closing a fine-ending book, and start a brand new book.

I was very optimistic about my 2010 at the year-changing night. My 2009 had a very bad ending. And me, I was hoping for a very nice 2010. Resolutions were made, hopes were high. And yes, I was very optimistic about 2010.

But guess what, my 2010 and the first months was harsh. Very harsh. I had fight with my mother, fight with my best friends, heart was torn apart. All of that, was in the month of my birthday. February, March, April. Some things were getting better, some were even worse than it was before. Breakdowns, desperation and frustration was all around me. How life was so fuckin unfair to me. How things fell apart. How what I wished for were just a wish upon a star. How things were not in the way I planned it’d be.

I slowly lost faith. I believed in NOTHING. Really, nothing. All problems were mine to be kept. Poker face, fake smiles, yes. I believed in no one, all I believed back then was the saying that ‘Everyone’s going to hurt you.’ And at that time, yes that is the truth. One day your friends will use your story as the bullets which are going to kill yourself, your mother will never understand you, boys are here to hurt you.

But as time passed, you know I just need to move on. I have to move on. I realized that who made life difficult is you . Yourself. Moving on was never easy. NEVER. I never thought I would, but hey! Here I am. Ended 2010, moved on. Life is actually so much easier when you believe that it is. Talk is cheap, but once it’s said, it’s easier to be done.

What I believed back then was actually right, that everyone’s going to hurt you. But what I missed was, the last part. “But you gotta find the one, worth fighting for.”

2010 is over, now it’s 2011. I’m sad, I really am sad that I’ve closed my 2010. That 2010 is goddamn over. 2010 taught me a lot of things. A lot of. I actually am pretty pessimistic about my 2011. Since what I expected for my 2010 somehow turned out to be wrong, but hey I just gotta believe. I guess that’s all I need.

You know 2010, you may not be my easiest year. You were pretty harsh to me, back then. But still, I thank you. Solemnly thank you for everything. For my brokenhearted, for my losing faith phase, for every tear I cried, for every pain I felt. For every single person who broke my heart, for every single person who mends it back. For every shoulder I cried on. For everything. It’s hard saying goodbye to you, one of my hardest year ever. But I have to. I have another 365 days to face, and what you taught me, 2010, is gonna help me in my another 365 days. Bye, bitchy 2010, you know I love you. Hey, 2011. Just be nice, okay?