Tuesday, August 30, 2011

At least, I still have to fight for stuffs I want.

People have been saying me as a spoiled brat, Daddy's favourite girl, that I get everything I want. Like everything. Well the truth is.. NO. I don't get everything I want. Mommy and Daddy no longer believe in my puppy dog face since I barely remember when. Mom and Dad don't instantly grant my wishes just because I asked them. I have to have a proof, no matter what is it that I can keep. And making my parents believe is a fight, a climb to a high cliff. I have to, at least did things that make them proud, and acing exams is not what make them proud. I have to fight for what I want. I don't get it just by asking them, by persuading, and kaching! Cash flows. Well, I hope things work that way but... unfortunately, no. It doesn't work that way. I have to fight for what I want. So sorry that you're wrong, cash doesn't flow that easy and I don't always get what I want.

Happy Eid Mubarak to every Muslims celebrating today!


Saturday, August 20, 2011

I don't wanna be the reason why.

I have the fear of hurting, the fear that I'll be sucha failure, sucha disappointment to the other. The fear of seeing someone hurting and knowing that I'm the reason behind the pain. I guess I'm traumatized. I hate being hurt that somehow, I don't wanna hurt the other. I don't wanna get too attached. I don't wanna love someone, something or whatever it takes too much. I just, don't wanna love and leave em and see someone hurt. Whether it's my friend or whoever. I'd better roll with the punches.

I've been ill since yesterday, my body temperature's rising and it hasn't gone down till now. Spent the whole day sleeping and when I got enough strength, I urge myself to clean up my study desk. And here it goes, before and after. (Extremely low picture quality, I forgot where I did last put my camera so this is from my iTouch.)

BEFORE

AFTER


Friday, August 19, 2011

Happy belated birthday, my dear Indonesia.

INDONESIA <3
RESPECT5 by SMAK5. Twas yesterday, dated August 18, 2011. Yeah, had so much fun. The third day of my exhaustion week sequel. And twas indeed, extremely tiring but everything worth the exhaustion. Pocong Mandi, Two Wings, Ketek, ERGGHH!, A lot, and so much games. I participated quite much, ignoring my bruised knee. So yeah, it's the weekend. Happy belated birthday Indonesia!

Out of the blue, I think of redecorating my whole room because it is in a massive mess and I'm bored. I need a new room!




Thursday, August 18, 2011

I'll be seventeen too one day!

This week is a total exhaustion. Monday was study day, Tuesday was decorating for Debora's surprise day. Wednesday was another tiring day, and today is no exception. Another tiring day as well. I lost my voice, I skipped so much meals because of the hectic-ness. To me, this week is officially over.
Debora's sweet seventeen party. And I say, see you bitches rocking the floor in heels. And last night was.. extremely fun.

My junior from year 10!
I was actually chewing sushi at this picture so.. that's why I have the blowfish face.

After makeup, I so love this geeky glasses of Cornelia's.



They are my sweetest girls.
Waiting for pictures to be on Facebook, so yeah these are Blackberry quality pictures. Happy sweet seventeen to Deborah, my bestest friend ever (dated August 17, 2011) and to happy sweet sixteen to Amelia, the cutest friend ever (dated August 18, 2011)

Sunday, August 14, 2011


Love and relationships are never like the movies no matter how much we want them to be. But when something beautiful ends, for whatever reason, it's most important not to be disappointed that it's over, but glad that it happened at all.

It wasn't for you nor anyone, I'm just writing. With no intention. And I'm just shocked that you thought it was for you. I mean, how could you? And you disappear. Geez.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

I don't wanna grow up.


I'm just.. I'm still sad. So sad, that Harry Potter's journey has ended. He has found all the Horcruxes and he killed Lord Voldemort already. I just wish J.K. Rowling would like to write another book like, seriously. After all this years, reading Harry Potter's book, queuing for the book, reading it till 2 A.M. and not wanting to sleep unless finishing it, waiting for the new movie to show up in the cinema, waiting in line to get tickets to the first show of the movie, remembering spells, having wands and ... so much. It has been 10 years of Harry Potter and now it all ends.. I don't know I just.. I don't want to. I am such a big fan of Rowling and Harry Potter since I was still a kid. I still have this in my mind, the time I watched Harry Potter and the Philosopher Stone every Sunday during lunch and I believed that Hogwart's real. Waiting for an owl to stop by my mail box sending me letter and I was disappointed when I didn't get any. Until Mom told me that, Harry Potter is just a fantasy. A movie. But, I don't know deep down here I still believe that platform 9 3/4 on King's Cross Station is real, and pressing 6-2-4-4-2 on to a broken-down red telephone box located on a dingy street which has several shabby offices, a pub, and a wall covered with graffitti will send me to the Ministry of Magic. I know this sounds silly but.. blah.

I just hate opening Tumblr, they have so many Harry Potter related stuffs and I am sad seeing it. I mean, they're like telling me Harry Potter is over and they're bringing back things from the past. I cried so much when I first watched the premiere on July 14 till my eyeliner melts. Cried again when I watched for the second time. And cried again when I saw pics and videos on Youtube. Seriously, I don't know what I have to do with my life. Harry Potter has been with me for 10 years. I've stuck for 10 years. And now it's over.. I don't know. Seriously.

By the way, I've made it to Pottermore and yes I'm so glad..