So.. Hi. Happy New Year, Happy Chinese New Year, Happy Australian Day, and happy other occasions that I actually miss. It's funny that how I actually missed the usual new year post, and how I have no enough balls to actually say what I needed to say hence I keep on writing and not hitting the publish button.
Three words to sum up the whole 2013 is: life goes on.
For some people 2013 was a magnificent year as millions of good things going on, in the other hand to some of my close friends, 2013 was a downhill. However for me, 2013 was not as horrible as 2012 but still it will never be the best year. And as time goes by, I realised that 2013 left me nothing to believe. What and who I'd thought to stay, turns out to what I ceased. Them leaving.
Left out. It is not a pleasant feeling. Replaced is worse. I thought distance means nothing when someone or two or three means everything but the reality is the contrary. My heart stop beating, the tears crystallised - not being able to cry a single thing, and a wound open up in my chest.
I graduated high school, moved miles apart from home, alone and starting uni life. Doing what my heart had been longing for since 5 years ago. It felt right, but there will forever be an ongoing doubt asking, "Should I just play safe?". Not that because I didn't enjoy what I've been doing the last six months, not that I feel a burden on my shoulder. Because as we grew up, dreams are all crushed by reality and I am afraid whether this dream will someday crushed by reality as well.
Nevertheless.. life will always go on. No matter the feelings, crushed dreams, or broken fractures.
May 2014 be your year.
ps. I have been listening to Imaginary Future, and I tell you, I'm out of words.
Love,
F
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